I have been feeling awful these past two weeks. It started with one week of a scratchy throat and coughing and then the next week congestion and sinus pain was added to it. I woke up this morning hoping I would feel better, but nope, I have terrible sinus pain and some congestion and still a scratchy throat. I think allergies must have come early. I thought the first week was just a cold, but since it all lingered, I think it has to be the usual springtime head issues that come with things in bloom and blowing dust.
Only I think that all came early this year. While much of the rest of the United States has been experiencing record cold and snowstorm after snowstorm, my region has been experiencing a lack of precipitation and record warm temps. It was in the eighties last week. 80 degrees Fahrenheit in February. Even in this desert that’s too warm. Yesterday I was already pulling weeds in the backyard. Today on my drive to work I noticed that some trees are already in bloom. I don’t remember the head pain coming so early in years past. I was talking to a friend about it today and he said it felt early for him, too. It’s disconcerting.
And I’ve been so angry these last two weeks–just a hair-trigger temper. The pan I want to use is dirty? I’m cussing as I wash it out. Someone does something stupid and/or dangerous on the road (which is, like, half of the people who drive near me)? I’m cussing them out. I even flipped someone the bird. This is not really like me–I did have temper issues when I was little, but lately I’ve mellowed out–I can let things go. But these last two weeks–it was like anger was all I could feel. My poor husband was asking if I was mad at him. I’m not really mad at anything–I’m just tired of feeling sinus pain and congestion and coughing on top of the stress of everyday life and having fibromyalgia.
I decided today that I’m going to stop letting myself feel anger because it doesn’t help. I’m trying to change my thoughts–on my way to work today I started cussing out someone who ran a stop sign–but I stopped myself right away. I said, “no, you’re not feeling this, you’re breathing deeply and letting it go.” And at one point as I was getting ready this morning I said to myself, “Great. Another miserable day full of congestion and pain.” Again, I stopped myself and said, “no, re-frame it. Determine that you will have a good day despite the pain.”
So I’m trying to have a better week (thus the title of my post). You have to figure out what you can do to control the way you react to a situation. I feel like I have plenty of coping skills for fibro, but this extra pain was throwing me for a loop. Well no more. I’m going to breathe deep and stop angry thoughts and try to have better, more enjoyable interactions with the people in my life.
It might not make everything alright, but it has to be better than being miserable.