Don’t think from the title that I didn’t somewhat enjoy the hike–how could you not enjoy these views? I mean, there is still snow on these mountains. In June. And all of that green! It’s such a treat compared to what I usually see.
But I just didn’t have the best time physically. But I mean, I have fibromyalgia, so I just had to make the best of it.
So two weeks ago my husband and I went to my family reunion in Colorado. We were near Rocky Mountain National Park and since we’re trying to visit as many national parks and monuments as we can (Ken Burns is right–they are America’s best idea), we knew we had to go see it. Now this is a big park and it’s probably best to spend at least a day there, if not more than a few days, but we could only carve out a few hours on one afternoon in an otherwise crowded schedule. It would be nice to go back again the next time we go to Colorado and maybe devote a day to it. (No camping, though. I wasn’t really a camper before fibromyalgia and now it sounds like the worst idea possible.)
We didn’t really know anything about the terrain, so we just picked a trail at random and decided to see where it lead. It just so happened that this trail was one that basically went up and up and up the entire time and was supposed to end at a lake (we didn’t make it to the lake). Now, I wasn’t able to prepare for this hike like I would any other, but because there wasn’t any other time for us to go, I pretty much had to go without the proper preparation I’ve learned to do. The night before I had stayed up late and I had also had two glasses of wine, which I shouldn’t have done because it doesn’t always mix well with my medication and sometimes causes me to have trouble sleeping, but I did because it was a party atmosphere at my family reunion. So I went into the hike feeling tired, but the climbing wore me out even more. And I was worried about the elevation–we started the hike 4,000 feet higher than the elevation we live at and 3,000 feet above the elevation of the canyon where we do most of our hiking. And since we were going up and up and up to an even higher elevation, I was worried that I was going to get light-headed.
So when we started I was excited and marveling at the view and enjoying the cool, but then I just became worried and irritable and ended up not enjoying myself. I do my best to have a positive mental attitude, but sometimes I just can’t be positive. Sometimes I just want to climb up a mountain trail to see some lake and not feel exhausted. I’m afraid I wasn’t the best company for my husband, either. I stopped to rest and he wanted to go on, so I told him to go while I sat on a rock. I wasn’t expecting the rest of the hike to take that long, and I was getting tired of watching children troop past me like the climb was nothing, and I started to get frustrated with my body and wishing I didn’t have to do so much care if I want to something physical, so I was just upset when we finally met up again and that made him upset, too. It wasn’t our best visit to a national park ever. I was never so happy to get back to a hotel and take a nap.
Come to think of it, we will have to go back and see if we can’t enjoy ourselves more. I hate feeling like my fibromyalgia gets in the way of me enjoying things, but then again, I’d hate it even more if it meant I would never go out and do anything. I suppose having a crappy time is better for my attitude than not doing anything at all. Because it was hard, but at least I was able to get out and do something. There are just so many days where I do the bare minimum and I feel like life is passing me by; even a crappy day makes me feel like I’m living a full life.