I look at all of the empty dates on this blog’s February calendar and feel bad–I so wanted to work on my writing this semester, here and in other places, but the month has gotten busy. Right now I’m stealing an hour, trying to clear my mind through writing but feeling a little anxious as I type and type and try to get as much as possible into my little hour.
My mother is in the hospital. She had a hip replacement on Monday. She is doing as well as can be expected for someone who had her hip replaced, but I still worry. We thought she might be able to go home today or tomorrow, but I don’t think that will happen. I’ve been spending as much time as I can with her in her hospital room, and with that and chores and work, I haven’t has much time to write and think.
About three hours ago I was watering the newly-planted trees and shrubs in the backyard–it’s been so warm lately I’m thinking they’re going to start waking up soon. I had to wait a little as the water soaked into the ground around each tree and took the moments to breath deeply and try to calm myself. The sounds of the cars driving by on the busy road we live off of were far enough away that I could pretend they weren’t even there. At one point a flock of birds flew so low over me that I could hear the rustle of their feathers. It was a small moment that worked to restore my strength and sense of peace, at least for a few minutes.
But then I had to go meet a student, and now I’m sitting here, stealing this hour.
At least I haven’t had any more than the usual background pain in the past three days. At least I don’t have that on top of the worry and the busyness.