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The past few days have been up and down.

Friday night I made the mistake of drinking more than a glass of wine. I know that anymore than one and I have a rough night, but I did it anyway, so I suffered. I went to sleep right at midnight but then woke up thirty minutes later and for the next two hours varied between awake and halfway asleep  I kept drinking water because I felt thirsty and then I kept having to use the bathroom. Finally, about 3 a.m., I feel asleep, only to have a nightmare. I woke up, shivering (I read somewhere that your body temp is lowest at the time of morning and we always turn the heater down at night) and scared, alert to every sound (the dogs breathing deeply in their sleep, the fridge running and turning off) and I swear I was hearing some scary sound, but it only happened every time my husband snored so I never got to really hear it. I very nearly woke him up I was so scared, but I said some Hail Mary’s (what my mother used to have me do when I was a child and was scared and the rhythm and routine of it makes me feel better) until I calmed down and was able to get back to sleep. This time I actually slept, but then had to wake up at 8 in order to be somewhere early.

So five hours of actual sleep and three hours of interrupted sleep made for a rough morning. I took a nap as soon as I could, which was in the afternoon. The weather was warm and the sun was out, and I thought I should go on a bike ride, but I needed the nap, so I didn’t go exercise. I said, tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful and napped on.

Except that it wasn’t. It wasn’t that cold–in the low 50’s–but it was overcast and windy. I cut short the bike ride because my throat was aching and my nose was stuffed by mile two, but I was still outside for about an hour. That had to have been a mistake because Monday I was still needing to recover. I got up at my usual time, but I was still tired. My thighs were aching. I catnapped after lunch and then went to babysit for my niece and nephew. They wanted to give me big hugs, but I didn’t give big hugs back. I said, “I don’t want you touching me too much right now.” Luckily my niece knows this happens to me sometimes and my nephew is young enough that he accepts things without needing too much explanation.  Still, I feel a little bad about it. Then I had to take another nap when I got home from babysitting.

Luckily, today I feel better. And I’m grateful I didn’t feel any lower than I did. But I still resent losing so much time, so many days.

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