This morning I was without grace. I usually am without grace, but this morning it was to an unusual degree. (My old boss used to call me “Grace” the way you call a fat man “Slim.”) I was, in fact, lumbering. While wearing my special comfortable shoes with orthotic sole inserts, of course. They’re not the most stylish specimens, but they usually don’t hurt me. (They’re from Clark’s unstructured collection. One of the first things I did to relieve my leg pain was buy that brand of shoe; they are good for that, up to a point that fibro nerves just overcome.) I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass on the door as I entered the building and I looked like Frankenstein’s monster. Lumber lumber lumber. Glass bones in my feet and legs, a defeated back.
(Luckily as the day wore on my body warmed up and the pain killers kicked in and I wasn’t lumbering quite so much.)
I finished up my physical therapy a few weeks ago. I’m so grateful that they were able to realign my pelvis (one side had shifted up and back). At my last appointment I was still having a little pain in my back, but they showed me some exercises that helped to relieve the pain. The therapist told me that he didn’t want me to go away while still feeling pain and that I shouldn’t be thinking pain was something I just had to deal with every day. I said something like, yeah, I shouldn’t have to deal with it, but I do. At least you taught me effective exercises. I really do use them–one where I lay flat on my back and hold my right knee to my chest for three minutes, another one where I hang my left leg off the edge of the sofa and bend my right leg at the knee and elevate it a little,and the last one is to lay with a marker wrapped in a hand towel under my back where it hurts.
The glass in my feet and the lumbering walk, though–I don’t know how to wake up without those sometimes.