I’ve been spending a lot of time on the sofa this week, just feeling tired a little dull. I was so worried about the outcome of the Supreme Court decision on the Affordable Care Act that I was tossing and turning every night since Sunday. I admit to cussing out Justice Scalia at two AM when I was worried and half-asleep but unable to quiet my mind and get to sleep–you know that awful two AM feeling. I know it’s a terribly immature and illogical thing to do, but two AM is not the time for maturity or logic. Besides, the man is smug, supercilious, sanctimonious, and was capable of making the pre-existing condition a threat again. Thank God it wasn’t struck down. I’m not the biggest fan of the individual mandate, but I’m so glad those insurance reforms will stay or will happen soon. I’m a walking pre-existing condition and I see a doctor more often than most people. I need to take medicine every day. I probably also have plenty of the made-up pre-existing conditions insurance companies use to get out of paying for the services you pay them to provide–things like acne, flat feet, dental fillings, thin lips. I was living in dread that the rug would be pulled out from under me and the insurance company would refuse to pay for the medical care that I need. That’s an awful feeling, that dread. And I’m lucky that my insurance company–awful as it is– hasn’t screwed me over like it has others.I just feel less vulnerable today. It’s awful to have to worry about paying for your chronic condition while in the midst of trying to cope with it. You don’t need anymore stress in your life.
I hope to post some more of my non-fibro related writing soon. I’ve just been either too busy or too dull-minded to get it on here.
Here’s hoping that tonight I get some sleep.